Y'all know that sneaky snake was the smartest critter the Good Lord made, right? Well, that snake went up to the woman and said, "Hey there, did God really say y'all can't eat from any tree in this here garden?" And the woman said, "No, we can eat from any tree 'cept that one in the middle. God said we'd die if we ate from it." But that snake, he said, "Naw, y'all won't die! God knows that if y'all eat from that tree, you'll be like Him and know good from evil." Well, that woman saw that the tree was mighty fine and the fruit looked tasty, so she ate it and gave some to her man, who was with her, and he ate it too.
After they ate, they realized they was naked and made clothes out of fig leaves. Later on, when they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden, they hid among the trees. The Lord called out, "Where y'all at?" And the man said, "We heard you and we was scared 'cause we was naked, so we hid." The Lord asked, "Who told y'all that y'all was naked? Did y'all eat from that tree I told y'all not to?" The man blamed the woman, who blamed the snake.
So the Lord punished them all. He cursed the snake to crawl on its belly and eat dust for the rest of its life. He made it so the woman would have painful childbirth and desire her man, who would rule over her. And for the man, he cursed the land so that it would be hard work to grow crops, with weeds and thistles making it even harder. The man would have to work hard every day to eat bread, until he returned to the ground from which he was made.
The Lord God then kicked them out of the garden of Eden and stationed some winged creatures with flaming swords to guard the way to the tree of life. The man named his wife Eve, and the Lord God made them some fancy leather clothes to wear. The Lord God said, "Now that they've eaten from the tree of knowledge, they're just like us. We gotta make sure they don't eat from the tree of life and live forever." So that's how it went down, y'all.